just punch me in the face... it's easier to deal with

So during a conversation about my daughter, my son came up. The girl I was talking to seemed surprised to know I had twins. Well of course she asked about him. She thought he was still alive and I had to tell her, "no."

She asked what happened.

I said he was stillborn.

She didn't know what that meant and I had to explain that though he was born on June 23 he died on June 8.

So what does she say next?

"So you carried around a dead baby for weeks?"

Wtf? Just punch me in the face next time and keep your comments to yourself.

A Cake for My Little One

I posted earlier about how to address the birthday card for my babies first birthday. Now I have to plan a cake. I thought of doing two small cupcakes but I would feel guilty letting his sister eat his cake and I don't just want it to sit there and go to waste.

So how does everyone like this idea?



http://ww30.1800flowers.com/product.do?baseCode=17731&dataset=10313&cm_cid=d10313

I thought of maybe changing some of the flowers to blue or doing this one.

How to Address the Card

My baby girl will be one at the end of this month. I should have 2 one year olds running around but her older twin brother was stillborn. I don't know how to address the birthday card. It has a spot that says "You are Invited to: __________'s Party!" But I don't know if I should put both names or just one.

I'm afraid that if I put both no one will come and I don't want to ruin my babies' first birthday.

Help...

Don't know what to do...

I talked with hubby a few weeks ago about what we would name future babies if we have any. He said if we have another boy he wants to give him the same name as our first son. He thinks it would Honor our son to name another child after him. I think it would feel like I tried to replace him.

Am I overreacting?

St Francis

I just keep repeting this over and again to myself. So far it's helping me with the holidays. My baby boy should be 6 months old now.

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace;

where there is hatred, let me sow love;

where there is injury, pardon;

where there is doubt, faith;

where there is despair, hope;

where there is darkness, light;

and where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;

to be understood, as to understand;

to be loved, as to love;

for it is in giving that we receive, it is in pardoning that we are pardoned, and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life.

Amen.

It's easier to remember with the music.

Ornament for my baby boy..

I want to get an ornament for my son this Christmas. He should have been 6 months now.

Here is what I was thinking of:

http://www.thecomfortcompany.net/Broken-Chain-Ornament.aspx

What do you think?

Found a great song

I don't want to make anyone cry but I was listening to my CDs and the lyrics of this just struck me. I guess because it's winter time. This helps me muster the strength to make it through the Christmas Season.

Better in Time - Leona Lewis

It's been the longest winter without you
I didn't know where to turn to
See somehow I can't forget you
After all that we've been through

Going coming
Thought I heard a knock
Who's there no one
Thinking that I deserve it
Now I realize that I really didn't know
If you didn't notice you mean everything
Quickly I'm learning to love again
All that I know is I'mma be ok

Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
It'll all get better in time
Even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to
It'll all get better in time

I couldn't turn on the TV
Without something there to remind me
Was it all that easy
To just put aside feelings

If I'm dreaming don't wanna laugh
Hurt my feelings but that's the path
I'll believe in
And I know time will heal it
If you didn't notice you mean everything
Quickly I'm learning to love again
All I know is I'mma be ok

Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
It'll all get better in time
Even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to
It'll all get better in time

Since there's no more you and me
It's time I let you go
So I can be free
And live my life how it should be
No matter how hard it is I'll be fine without you
Yes I will

Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
It'll all get better in time
Even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to (yes I do)
It'll all get better in time