I almost flipped out when Dr was searching for the HB at week 14. I pointed to where I thought little guy was and said check here. Bam there he was. But I'm freaking out because this one is due so freakin close to where the others were due and it's a boy.
I think I'd feel safer if it was a girl. It's like mother Nature is taunting me saying, "Here don't screw it up again." You can tell me, "It isn't your fault," or "you did nothin wrong." Riiight. I carried the baby. I lost the baby.
It isn't like I have something that I can point to and say, "Oh that happened." I didn't fall. I didn't get into a car wreck. No one hit me. His cord had a blood clot. That is all they could tell me. The exact words were, "we think there was a clot in his cord." Think and know are quite different in my book. So no one can really tell me what happened. No one knows.
I hope June 8th passes quickly.
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